Category: Death and Dying

Reaching Out Saved My Life

My last therapist abandoned me, both physically and emotionally. She had a death in the family and understandably took some time off. At first she said it would be for three weeks. The next email stated she needed three more. It was a bit of a shock, but I figured if I had kept myself alive for the past three weeks, then perhaps I could do it again. What got me through the temporary loss of support was hope. I know from experience that grief has no time line, and however she needed to cope was necessary for her at the time. read more

I Will Always Hold You in My Heart

A while back I wrote a blog for a dear friend of mine, who was battling cancer. For those of you who may not recall, or didn’t read it, my friend is the reason I write. She is the reason I share my story so openly through my writing and on my podcast. We have never met. We’ve only chatted on the phone, text, and Twitter, which is where we met five or six years ago.

I had just been diagnosed with a handful of illnesses including Borderline Personality Disorder and had just started up on Twitter, discovering an enormous mental health community. She was one of the first people I followed. Something about her screamed “safe person” which doesn’t happen for me often. Many people with BPD were traumatized or neglected in childhood, so when we started to chat and no red flags were rising, I started to slowly let her in. We shared our stories, our journeys, and our lives with each other. The paths that led us here were different, but the emotions we felt from our trauma were essentially the same. read more

A Compelling Letter from Death

I have traveled the world from coast to coast, over and over since the beginning of time. I have seen the blessings and the sufferings of all mankind. I’ve seen the souls of men, women, and children through war, disease, and famine. I have no sense of discrimination or bias. I do not judge.  I know not of religion, race, age, or culture. Wealth does not influence me. It doesn’t matter how much time you have had, or what you have or haven’t accomplished. Upon the time of my arrival, you are all on an equal playing field. At some point, you all will have to face me. Our meeting is inevitable. It is fate. read more

Disability in Canada is Forced Poverty

 My background may be different than tens of thousands of people across Canada, but somehow, regardless of our stories, we have all ended up in the same place; government forced poverty. When COVID hit, the Canadian government decided that $2000 monthly was what the average Canadian needed to survive. As lock downs arrived and prices soared, money was sent coast to coast to millions of people to help them through the pandemic. I am glad the government was able to step up and help so many, however, I am wondering why thousands and thousands of people with physical disabilities and mental illnesses have continually been cast aside, and treated like we’re as disposable as the trash. If the average person requires $2000 monthly, then why do we not qualify as average citizens?  How is anyone expected to live in this country on $1169 monthly? Who decided that $497 a month is supposed to cover ones rent? You cannot rent a room in a house full of strangers for less than $700-$800 monthly. read more

The Fear of a Simple Birthday

As most of you know, I suffer with BPD, severe depression and suicidal ideation, among other diagnoses.

The Canadian winter hits me hard. The lack of sunshine for so many days, sometimes weeks in a row, and the bloody freezing temperatures, adds to depression. I have tried a SAD lamp, I have raised my Vitamin D, but nothing works, and the deeper we go into winter, seems to be the deeper I sink. I feel constantly anxious, unmotivated, and emotional. My fear of failure intensifies to the point of being terrified to try anything new. read more

I Want You to Want to Live

SUICIDE…Catch your attention yet? It’s a shame if it didn’t because the actions most certainly will.

The rate of suicide is on the rise worldwide in all age categories. It affects all ethnicities, cultures and religions.

 It is bias free.

It is a last resort, a desperate attempt to quell the never ending and relentless pain that monopolizes your mind. It has become the only feasible way to rid yourself of the burdensome weight that has dragged you to this level of despair.

That is how I feel anyway, the countless number of times I have and do fall into the darkness, and because I can empathize, take a minute to read this letter to you. read more


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